If you would like to spend some time exploring your personal traits, habits or behaviours, and look for more satisfying and effective ways of engaging with others, you have come to the right place. Working in the area of personal change and personal transformation, I will help you dig deeper, think bigger and reach higher than you ever dared before

There are a variety of areas that people often wish they could improve about themselves, such as: 

Self esteem

Self worth

Self confidence

Assertiveness

Motivation

Shyness

Stress/anxiety

Self Esteem 

Self esteem is the respect and regard that you have for yourself. Below are some questions that may help you to determine if you are suffering from low self esteem. 

• Do you use negative words when speaking about yourself, job or accomplishments?
• Do you use limiting words like, 'I am ONLY a shop assistant'. I had a POOR education?
• Do you speak hesitantly or with little confidence?
• Do you apologise frequently and profusely?
• Are you uncomfortable with compliments and don't know how to respond to them?
• Do you stand, sit or walk with a downward looking stance or posture? 

These patterns of behaviour will limit any choices or options available to you. 

If you answered yes to any of the above then I will use life coaching techniques to open up those choices and options and give you more freedom of action. I will help you to see what the long-term costs of low self esteem can be, and together we will explore any talents and skills that you have hidden away.

 “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, therefore, is not an act but a habit”. Aristotle.

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Self Worth

Self worth is how much you unconditionally like, love, and value yourself in all areas of your life. Self worth can be reduced and nothing does this faster than fear, regret, or anger. The power of language and how we are spoken to should not be underestimated. Some people experience negative language so frequently that the impact on their self-worth, self-esteem, and confidence can have very harmful long term effects.

Negative language occurs in ‘put-downs’, criticisms, name calling, and threats and can leave a person feeling that perhaps they don’t deserve any better, or that they can never expect more than they already have in life. Language can also have a positive influence which is demonstrated with compliments, encouragement, and support. This positive effect is exactly what you can expect from spending time with a Life coach who will help you to grow, develop, and step out of your comfort zone so that the lifestyle you want and deserve becomes more than just a thought.

I will respect your feelings and have complete faith in you and your decisions. People who experience this kind of influence will tend to be calmer, happier, and more secure, have goals in life, and the confidence and motivation needed to achieve all that they desire.

What is your level of self-worth? Find out by answering a few quick questions on the self worth quiz.  

“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent” Eleanor Roosevelt 

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Self Confidence

Self confidence is a complex characteristic as it can be evident in one area of a person’s life, but lacking in another. It can be dented by cruel remarks or treatment from others, or it can be built up with kind words and encouragement. Whatever your confidence level is, it is going to affect how you think, feel, and behave.

This in turn has a direct impact on how you interact with people, and how you operate in various situations. There are all sorts of reasons why a person lacks confidence in certain areas of their life so if this is a problem that you experience then you may want to explore it further.

What is your level of self confidence?

Find out by answering a few quick questions on the self confidence quiz.

“I was always looking outside myself for strength and confidence, but it comes from within. It is there all the time”. Anna Freud

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Assertiveness 

• Do you have a problem speaking up for yourself?
• Do you get taken for granted easily?
• Do you wish you could have a little more control over your situation?
• Do you struggle to get your point across?
• Do you have difficulty saying 'no' to people?
• Do you want to learn how to get what you want without raising your blood pressure and stress levels?

Assertiveness is concerned with keeping control of your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in order to communicate what you want in a clear and respectful manner. Knowledge can be a very powerful thing and assertive people know their rights. This gives them the advantage of maintaining control over themselves, and their situation, whilst respecting the rights and feelings of everyone involved. If you answered yes to any of the above then I will help you to understand the differences between assertiveness and aggression.

Together we will explore the most appropriate techniques for you to put in place so that you can improve your chances of getting what you want from life. 

“Assertiveness is not what you do, it's who you are!” Shakti Gawain 

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Motivation

Motivation is seen as a reason or a set of reasons for the actions we decide to take. From getting out of bed of a morning to working through our life’s ambitions, motivation is the internal driver that assists us.  There are two different types of motivators that people make use of, the fear of failure, and the pursuit of pleasure. As your life coach I will help you to identify which category you are being motivated by so that you can take back control of your inner drive and establish a more rewarding path forwards.

In many ways our health, wealth, career, family, social and spiritual life can depend on our motivational drive remaining stable. Some people work on auto pilot unaware that their motivation is slowly fading away. The fun and excitement they felt at the beginning of a task or situation are no longer fresh in their mind until one day they find themselves wondering what the reasons are for the actions they are involved in.

At this stage they have simply lost sight of the original goal or plans that they had in mind. The underlying theory is that, it is the REASON WHY you are doing something, rather than the goal itself, that actually gets you into action. As your life coach I will help you revisit your original plans and look at how realistic they are now. You may just need a little motivational boost to continue on your current path, it could be that your circumstances have changed and you are still trying to work with old plans that are no longer adequate or suitable to you, or your plans may have come to a natural conclusion and you are wondering what to do next.

Which ever one fits you then contact me and together we will work things out. 

"In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your desire for failure" Bill Cosby

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Overcoming procastination 

• Are you always putting things off?
• Do you have a habit of starting off projects and giving up before you have completed them.
• Do you often use the words: tomorrow, later, afterwards
• Do you have so many things to do that you have to keep putting some of them off?

From household tasks to life long dreams people make up all sorts of excuses to leave something until another time. From tiredness to lack of self belief we allow these things to rob us of what we would really like to be doing. Watch my 2 minute PowerPoint presentation, on the Home Page, to see which of the excuses you are familiar with.

If you find yourself regularly using the words – Tomorrow, Later, Afterwards – then you are among a large number of the population that are procrastinators. It doesn’t do any harm to postpone things, from time to time, but if it becomes a regular habit then it will ultimately have an adverse affect on your life.

Constantly putting things off can unnecessarily clutter your life up in ways that will add further pressure and stress. As your life coach I will help you to address all the things you keep putting off and the reasons why. There is a great deal of satisfaction and pride to be felt when a task is completed and I will help you to break tasks down into smaller more manageable chunks so that you can experience the success of ‘seeing things through to completion’.

“Know the true value of time; snatch, seize, and enjoy every moment of it. No idleness, no laziness, no procrastination: never put off till to-morrow what you can do to-day.” Lord Chesterfield

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Shyness 

• Do you suffer with uncontrollable blushing?
• Do you feel panicky in certain situations?
• Do you feel self concious in social sitations?
• Do you dread having to talk to people in case you say something stupid or people think you are an idiot?
• Do you feel sick in your stomach and your legs go all wobbly at the thought of people watching what you are doing?
• Have you been wrongly labelled as aloof because people don't realise you are simply hiding your fears and anxieties

Shyness affects most people at some time in their life, especially when meeting new people or going somewhere you haven’t been before. A classic example is when you start a new job and feel like a total stranger in a new environment, and to make matters worse people are going to want to know all about you. Feeling shy or nervous at times like this is natural and to be expected.

Shyness makes people feel uncomfortable, interferes with their ability to perform at their best, and can also spoil their enjoyment. The symptoms of shyness can vary from mild to moderate discomfort, through to much more debilitating levels of anxiety, depending on the situation you are in. People who experience shyness often talk of a whole range of physiological symptoms and irrational thought patterns. These can range from blushing, racing heart, needing the toilet more frequently, feeling jumpy, sweating, and many more. Thought patterns range from thinking you are going to make a fool of yourself, feeling as if you are going to be judged, and holding negative opinions of yourself then fearing that other people will view you the same way.

Using specific techniques and exercises I will help you to address your shyness and look at the areas that you most need to improve. I will give you tips on how to improve your confidence levels so that you no longer have to avoid all the situations that you have become so use to avoiding, and you can begin to break the vicious circle of nervousness and fear that you have lived with.

 “The shell must break before the bird can fly”. Tennyson 

“The greatest mistake you can make in life is to continually be afraid you will make one”. Elbert Hubbard.

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Stress/Anxiety 

The symptoms of stress and anxiety are both responsible for a whole array of unwated, extreme and sometimes severe side-effects. People can feel: 

• Physically sick
• Panicky
• Loss of enthusiam for everything
• Tired all the time
• Depressed
• Unable to think clearly
• Unable to concentrate
• Forgetful
• Tearful
• Suicidal
• Unable to sleep
• Unable to fight off bacteria and disease
• Uninterested in their marital relations
• Unable to cope with work

If you want to learn what triggers your stress reaction, when it can be beneficial to you and when it becomes unhelpful and unhealthy then contact me and together we will identify ways to reduce its intensity, and its impact on your health. It may be just one area of your life that is causing you stress, such as your work place, relationship, home life, finances, or something else. What ever it is don’t let it rob you of any more of your precious time. Together we can work out some stress reduction techniques and in a short time you will start to see the benefits for yourself.

In the meantime you could visit my [Resources Page] and get some very helpful tips to get you started.

“The greatest weapon against stress is our ability to choose one thought over another.” William James.

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